fun, and not

i love back yeard fires.. sitting talking to Jimmy and everyone.. mom and dad..
i love summer/spring.
i am excited to see aunt susan and uncle todd i just wish dj was comming to. and even the little kids.. i miss them tooo.
i wonder if they can come home this year?
i hope so.
i am looking foeward to uncle cody getting married. i bet him and aunt shayna have pretty babies.
i get tired s0 fast these days.. mom told me uncel Kenny on the sandbulte side is not well.. it makes me so sad casue i rember him being so fulkl of life and happoness.
my stillon my casue to find a job of somesort.. she crankyh at me and mikey.. mikey can be so mean sometimes. mom says she prayers of him and she missed his smike and laughter.. i remeber. when me and him were best friends.. i think he is mad at hd and me with out knwing it.
i guess all i can do is pray for him tooo. i get so mad at him sometimes ... he gets mad at me caseu i cme to mom and dad casue it is lonmey at my house and i miss my brothers if i do not see them. Mikey gets mad and says crap.. mom told me he says it casue he trying to make me want to go out and stuff. he says i am not normal 18 cause i want to stay at home. i miss my friends but it is hard for me to say no to them and than i drink too much, and i get sick and than mom and mostly dad have to care for me.. and i feel like crap for the next two or three days.
mikey does wont undersatnd that i feel safe and i do enjoy sitting with the boys watching tv and stuff. he just angey that i changed?? i just do not know

today

mom wants me to find a job.. i made it thru Prom, and graduation. it was sort of fun. to many people i think.. but it was good to seee everyone! and laugh and talk. My friends from Rock valley were there and it was so so good to see them. i miss them.

cody is getting married in like 9 days and aunt susan will be here, i cannot wait to see her.

I am going to bed

once

we are back from iowa city. I hated the whole testing crap.. but i made it and got thur it all.. they do not want me to drive anymore. and mom and me have a meeting on friday with the dr to explain the testing results.

Landon came with us and it was fun. well the ride down sucked, i thought we were going to die...it was blowing snow and cold and we were bucking drifts in mom's little pt. crusier. it was horriable and than we made it Boone on thursday and than to iowa city for the appointment..

Christmas was great with DJ here. I miss her.

Mom is worried as always and dad is withdrawn. Mikey is being mikey and doing what ever he wants... i think mom and dad are are lost with him.

the boys are doing good... they are funny. but i get tired of them sometimes. they are so loud and noisey.