Sunday, April 15, 2012

what a week...

I have been so busy this past week.. Work, Doctor appointments and travel for work and of course mommy jobs and church, and Huntington's meeting. 
Travel to Morton Mn and attended the MN PET BREEDER ANNUAL CONFERENCE...there they auction off 3 of Landon's bracelets and we raised a total of 659.00 for our HD chapter.. AMAZING.. totally scarey to stand in front of 50 to 75 people and tell  them about Huntington's and ask for help..the prayers and well wishes were amazing.. so many asked what is HD and where can they find out more about it....
 I told them and even showed some of the people on my phone... I am trying to find a way to fight back against this stupid disease. I will until my last breath.. not just for Kate and her Child but of all these people who have lost loved ones and who are fighting and those at risk...

       I needed to attend the HD meeting as I am struggling with feelings of grief an anger and happiness.. It is very strange to me to go thur all of these emotions almost on a daily biases.. I can talk to my support group family knows these emotions.. The issues I have toward Kate's baby's daddy are a totally separate issue.. I am working toward what is best for Kate and Her baby.. not what I want or feel.. this a hard because sometimes the two issues are not the same... and many times it is in the eye of the beholder as far as what is best for Kate and her child..Meaning that I may feel one way and she may feel another..
 I know this, I pray for Our Lord to Guide me and give me the wisdom and strength to be good to my little girl and her daughter.. I don't always say the right thing or express myself to Kate, but we are working toward what is best for Kate and Baby girl, and with God leading us we will get there...I can only pray that this is enough.

At our HD Meeting we were able to ask questions to a panel of lawyers fro MN,Iowa and South Dakota, about estate planning and guardianship and conservatorship and the like.. it was very helpful and yet very scarey.. 

Kate is 28 weeks along baby is weighing 2lbs and 6oz... and looks perfect.. Landon was there to see the ultrasound this time and enjoyed seeing the baby...

  17Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning.
   18Of his own will begat he us with the word of truth, that we should be a kind of first fruits of his creatures.
   19Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath: James 1:17-19

Her belly is showing more and more... the baby movements are getting stronger and stronger. It has been so amazing to be a spectator in this event..It has not always been easy for me to watch Kate worry, or watch her tears..But her smile when she touches her growing womb and her voice softens when she speaks about her hope for her child is a blessing. 
She is so excited to meet her child and hold her in her arms.. We are excited for her!

The difficult decisions
We have a hard time working out some choices with Kate. We have to take in what she feels and her thoughts.. She is still our Kate and a precious gift from Our Lord.. for us to disregard her thoughts because she has JHD, would be a disservice to her and to her life. We do make some choices that she might not agree with but we always want her to feel loved and respected. We have had advice given to us that we should not do this..But as a parent and a caregiver I can't do this without feeling I have failed her and my duty and responsible to her. 
I know that there are days that I feel that it would be easier for me to just do what I want.. I choose to not do this as I know in my heart that no matter what JHD does to Kate, She still has thoughts and feelings that need to be acknowledged and expressed, and my feelings come in 2nd and I have to base choices and decisions what is best for her and NOT my feelings .. 
There are times that Mike and I sit and talk and wonder what parts of her behaviors are from JHD and what is not..But we stand together..and I can say this with out Mike, I not sure I could do this.. He is rock..He keeps me sane.. (if that's possible :) haa haa .. yes I have a sense of humor about all of this for with out humor.. We might not be able to function at all.. We are a family and we are surviving and we will put our trials and our blessings in Gods hands.. for with his guidance we will be ok. 
SO we offer our praise to God and may all we do be for his Glory.. For with out him we would be lost...