fun, and not

i love back yeard fires.. sitting talking to Jimmy and everyone.. mom and dad..
i love summer/spring.
i am excited to see aunt susan and uncle todd i just wish dj was comming to. and even the little kids.. i miss them tooo.
i wonder if they can come home this year?
i hope so.
i am looking foeward to uncle cody getting married. i bet him and aunt shayna have pretty babies.
i get tired s0 fast these days.. mom told me uncel Kenny on the sandbulte side is not well.. it makes me so sad casue i rember him being so fulkl of life and happoness.
my stillon my casue to find a job of somesort.. she crankyh at me and mikey.. mikey can be so mean sometimes. mom says she prayers of him and she missed his smike and laughter.. i remeber. when me and him were best friends.. i think he is mad at hd and me with out knwing it.
i guess all i can do is pray for him tooo. i get so mad at him sometimes ... he gets mad at me caseu i cme to mom and dad casue it is lonmey at my house and i miss my brothers if i do not see them. Mikey gets mad and says crap.. mom told me he says it casue he trying to make me want to go out and stuff. he says i am not normal 18 cause i want to stay at home. i miss my friends but it is hard for me to say no to them and than i drink too much, and i get sick and than mom and mostly dad have to care for me.. and i feel like crap for the next two or three days.
mikey does wont undersatnd that i feel safe and i do enjoy sitting with the boys watching tv and stuff. he just angey that i changed?? i just do not know

today

mom wants me to find a job.. i made it thru Prom, and graduation. it was sort of fun. to many people i think.. but it was good to seee everyone! and laugh and talk. My friends from Rock valley were there and it was so so good to see them. i miss them.

cody is getting married in like 9 days and aunt susan will be here, i cannot wait to see her.

I am going to bed